looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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