Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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