Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
