the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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