Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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