i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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