Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize