haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
