Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Is it because I queefed?
and she was petting her beer can
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
