I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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