The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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