I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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