I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
