I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
