all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
