you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There was a lot of him and a little penis
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
