the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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