I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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