the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize