In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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