i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
