What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
