I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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