are you so shy because you have an std?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
