My room smells like vodka and shame
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.