this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good