Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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