Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
