i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
dude. I can hear the air.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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