Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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