just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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