why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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