you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
