please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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