Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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