Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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