no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
