'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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