Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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