lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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