is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
