you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
3pm strippers are depressing
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
