we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
