smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize