why didn't you poke me back
She is in my trunk
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
