did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize