Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
