therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
