I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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