I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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