you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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