We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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