i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
