He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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