I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
