you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
