I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
