He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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